Dance Moms matriarch, Abby Lee Miller, is heading to prison on Wednesday for 366 days. But, just because she'll be behind bars doesn't mean she's keeping quiet about it. Ever since she was charged with hiding almost a million dollars, she has said some of the most ridiculous things about the whole ordeal.
And, is anyone surprised? Abby Lee has said some of the most ridiculous things even when she wasn't heading to jail. She was notoriously known for bashing her dancers, their moms and anything else she could target. We've decided to pick out some of our favorite Abby Lee quotes that she's spewed out in regards to her now being classified as a certified criminal.
They are literally hilarious with one legitimate fear that we all might have before going to prison. But otherwise, it's comical. She's a real character and we will miss her word vomit for a year and a day.
"I have some friends coming out from Pittsburgh that have been with me through thick and thin for 20 years before the TV show, so they’re gonna come out and we’re just gonna maybe reminisce and laugh about the old times and talk about everyone we know and who might have all that money. Because it’s not me!"
"I’ll just have me to concentrate on and that’s different."
"I have bad knees and a bad back and a lot of stuff. I'm worried about standing on cement for hours at a time, but we'll see!"
"I’m afraid of being physically abused. I have to stay busy. If I thought about it every day, I’d just sit around and cry."
"People have said 'Okay, keep your mouth shut, stay to yourself. If there's an argument, if something's going on, just look the other way, walk away.’ That's not me!"
"Am I able to wear socks to bed when I sleep at night? Because my feet cramp. Yup, I know that may sound silly, but that is an actual fear."
"I'm just a nice Catholic girl from Pittsburgh… I know that I am not a criminal mastermind."
"If I say Red Lobster coming out of Catch, would that be bad? I think the biscuits, the cheddar biscuits."
"I’ve always put everybody else’s child first before my own health, before my own outfit, before my own time frame. Everybody else was dressed and out the door and looking perfect and I was running around trying to find a clean towel to take a shower with, so I think this will be a little 'me' time."
"I feel relieved. I feel peaceful."
"I was so worried about the dancing and worried about these kids that aren't my own kids and making them winners that I didn't worry about my own win in business."
"Maybe I'm fooling myself and I won't be able to do any work."
"I don’t have a problem working with any kid, I love children and have dedicated my life to making other people’s children successful!"
Talking about the charge that Abby's accused of – hiding almost one million dollars – she asks the paparazzi, "Do you know where that money is? Because I never saw it. I think somebody has it maybe a cute little blonde, mother of two. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Read my Instagram, I've never seen that money."
So yes, she literally just accused one of the MOMS of stealing it.
"I probably won’t survive," she simply stated to The View ’s Jedediah Bila in an interview.
You're kidding me. She said, "The khaki things scare me, they don't have a pool. I don't know if they're going to have a bra that fits me."
I'm sure they have bras of all shapes and sizes, girl.
Well, she knows her but she doesn't know the person she has become. She said she treated Maddie like a daughter. "That's not the kid [Maddie] I raised...I don't think she would be where she is today…I hope that she doesn't forget the good times."
GREAT ASSUMPTION! Before going behind bars, Abby revealed what she had been eating. She said, "I've been eating what I like, what I'm going to miss...I doubt there's a salad bar."
"It is surreal. How does a nice Catholic girl end up going to prison for a year? It's crazy."
Umm, so in a strange plot twist, everyone can get – for a limited time only – orange and black t-shirts with the words 'Free Abby' written across the front. No, we are not kidding. They are 30 dollars and look like a typical jail uniform because, you know, that's where Abby lives now. Even from behind bars, she has figured out how to make money. Not only that but actually figured out how to use this jail time as something beneficial to her and literally, no one is surprised at all.
Check out the video below to see photos of the 'Free Abby' shirts.
Then-and-Now Photos of the OG Dance Moms Cast
Abby Lee Miller Is Officially Leaving Dance Moms
Abby Lee Miller Says She Needs No One Before Jail Time
This post was originally published on July 12, 2017 and since has been updated.