Halsey has gotten more real about her life than ever. In a revealing interview with Rolling Stone, the 21-year-old pop star opened up about the miscarriage she went through on tour. The singer shared that she got pregnant last year, and immediately started wondering about how it would affect her career.
"What happens? Do I lose my record deal? Do I lose everything? Or do I keep [the pregnancy]? What are the fans going to think? What are the moms going to think? What is the Midwest going to think? What's…everyone going to think?" the singer recalled thinking.
Before Halsey could even figure out how to handle her pregnancy, she unfortunately suffered from a miscarriage hours before she was supposed to go on stage. Even though she initially wanted to cancel the show, the people around her implicitly suggested she keep performing.
"I'm like, 'I have to cancel this show!' And everyone's kind of like, 'Well, it's Vevo LIFT, and it's 3 million impressions, so …' No one knew what to do. It's the angriest performance that I've ever done in my life," she said.
"That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, 'I don't feel like a [real] human being anymore.' This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I'm doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up."
Halsey continued, saying that she struggled with her miscarriage because she was overworked, which stressed out her body.
"I beat myself up for it because I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn't drinking. I wasn't doing drugs. I was [just] overworked – in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom. I was anemic, I was fainting. My body just broke…down," she said.
The "Colors" singer says that she was heartbroken by what happened.
She said, "I had a choice. I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star. More than I want to be anything in the world."
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