Trigger warning: This post talks about suicide. 

It’s time for Pete Davidson to share his side. In the wake of his breakup from Ariana Grande, the 25-year-old comedian has taken to Instagram to share an open letter to his millions of followers, getting real about the pain he too has endured with the end of the relationship everyone seems to have an opinion on.

“I’ve kept my mouth shut. Never mentioned any names, never said a word about anyone or anything. I’m trying to understand how when something happens to a guy the whole entire world just trashes him without any facts or frame of reference. Especially in today’s climate where everyone loves to be offended and upset it truly is mind boggling,” Pete wrote. “I’ve been getting online bullied and in public by people for 9 months. I’ve spoken about BPD and being suicidal publicly only in hopes that will bring awareness and help kids like myself who don’t want to be on this earth. I just want you guys to know. No matter how hard the internet or anyone tries to make me kill myself. I won’t. I’m upset I even have to say this. To all those holding down and seeing this for what it is — I see you and I love you.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq7wFi9gjOH/

Pete has been very vocal in the past about his personal struggles living with Borderline Personality Disorder and having dealt with suicidal thoughts long before he started dating Ari, but their super public lovefest and eventual demise has obviously taken a toll. The 25-year-old songstress has gone on to release the hit song, “Thank U, Next”, which is all about the life lessons she learned from her former loves, including her whirlwind romance with Pete. And in the music video, she even apologizes to him for “dipping” out on the relationship. But there was some back and forth between the pair when they first went their separate ways. Ariana wasn’t happy to see Pete make a joke of their short-lived engagement on his show, Saturday Night Live, although in another episode, he did acknowledge their split in a mature fashion.

“I know some of you are curious about the breakup but the truth is, it’s nobody’s business and sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s okay. She is a wonderful, strong person and I genuinely wish her all the happiness in the world,” he said also adding, “I’m still a good song though,” referencing the track on Ari’s Sweetener album she wrote about him called “Pete Davidson.” Pete simply wants everyone to know that yes, he too is still healing from the split and everyone should always be mindful of what they say about others, especially on the internet. Bullying of any kind is never OK and any fan of Ariana knows she’s all about spreading love and light. Stay strong, Pete.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, there are many resources available. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text Crisis Text Line at 741-741.

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