What fans love most about Selena Gomez is that she is as real as they come, but it is no secret that she has dealt with a lot of inner turmoil ever since she became a huge star as a kid. Her relationships in the past have not only hurt her, but they have also been heavily dissected publicly by fans and the media. In her new interview as the cover star for April with Vogue, she discussed everything from her recent treatment to touring and even why she will never talk about her love life again.
When asked about her new relationship with singer The Weeknd, Sel said that everything she has said about her prior relationships has "come back to bite her" and that she would never do it again." In the past, she has released songs like "The Heart Wants What it Wants," which was clearly about her relationship with Justin Bieber and that realness and vulnerability is why fans feel so connected to her.
“People so badly wanted me to be authentic and when that happened, finally, it was a huge release. I’m not different from what I put out there. I’ve been very vulnerable with my fans, and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t. But I have to be honest with them. I feel that’s a huge part of why I’m where I am.”
Part of that honesty had to be displayed when she decided to cancel the rest of her Revival tour last year to check in for treatment at a facility in Tennesse for depression and anxiety.
“I’ve cried on stage more times than I can count, and I’m not a cute crier. Tours are a really lonely place for me. My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting on stage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically, I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it—which, I think, was a complete distortion. I was so used to performing for kids."
Instead of social media being a distraction or a way for her to get closer to her fans, it actually added more pressure and stress into her life. It ended up being so bad for her that she actually felt like she was addicted to Instagram.
“As soon as I became the most followed person on Instagram, I sort of freaked out. It had become so consuming to me. It’s what I woke up to and went to sleep to. I was an addict, and it felt like I was seeing things I didn’t want to see like it was putting things in my head that I didn’t want to care about. I always end up feeling like shit when I look at Instagram. Which is why I’m kind of under the radar, ghosting it a bit.”
When she went into treatment, she was forced to give up her phone during her stay and now she does not even have the Instagram application on her phone, and she revealed that only about 17 people have her phone number and just two of them are famous. What a change!
“You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls, real people who couldn’t give two sh-ts about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done.”
"I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart,” she said, revealing that she sees her shrink five times a week and is not working on any projects at the moment.
“For a change, it feels like I don’t have to be holding my breath and waiting for somebody to judge a piece of work that I’m doing. I’m not eager to chase a moment. I don’t think there’s a moment for me to chase.”
“Look, I love what I do, and I’m aware of how lucky I am, but—how can I say this without sounding weird? I just really can’t wait for people to forget about me.”
While Selenators will not want to forget her, it is good to see the star begin to find herself again and learn how to deal with her fame in her own way.