Every once in a while something manages to ruin my life in the best way, and spoiler alert: it’s either a boy or a TV show. Sometimes, though, it comes as a double-whammy like the union of Cole Sprouse and Riverdale. I know, I know, what we have is a doomed affair because Cole and Lili Reinhart are now dating and my Bughead-worshipping self isn't trying to sink that ship. Instead, it's a romance in pictures: I don’t have time for a relationship right now, so it works out if I strictly have a crush that lives on-screen.
And this is how the Daily Cole was born.
Actually, JK, the Daily Cole was born when my roommate Emily was home crying about her black-hearted evil ex and I was out doing a mediocre job of comforting her. It’s just one of those situations where you run out of ways of saying, “Maybe sending Satan a text message is a bad decision” you know? So in desperation, I shot her a pick-me-up pic of Cole embracing a puppy.
Now, why did I have a picture of Cole holding a puppy on my iPhone? I don’t know, let me live.
Actually I had been combing his Twitter earlier in the day for Professional Work Purposes, and in between all the self-deprecating jokes and Suite Life of Zack and Cody throwbacks, there’s roughly a trillion glamour shots of the former Disney Channel hearthrob. Some are magazine shoots, some are immaculately executed selfies (he has some bonafide skills), some are gifted to us by his professional photographer friends like Luke Fontana and Damon Baker. However these photos end up in his feed, and they look like a running series called “How to Make Puberty Suck It.” So yeah, maybe I saved one or 20 pictures for myself.
The next day I found myself at my computer with an overstock of Cole images, and figuring Em was still bummed out, I asked, “Would you rather receive several Cole Sprouse photos at once or should I send you one per day?” “I think one per day would keep my spirits up,” she sent back. And here we are.
But why Cole, beside the previously mentioned “self-deprecating jokes” and “making puberty suck it?” Why isn’t it the Daily Dylan, which tbh has a better ring to it? First of all, Dylan Sprouse is allowed to be your favorite Sprouse twin, and you’re also allowed to be wrong.
But eh, it’s just a personal tie: Emily and I bonded over binge-watching Riverdale. We came to the mutual decision of “Jughead Jones is everything” together, probably sometime around the first time he kissed Betty. That kind of otherwordly dreaminess mixed with Cole's hilarity and generalized babeliness has made him a joyful alternative to all the disappointing IRL guys in our lives. And let’s be real, nobody posts that many selfies unless they want them to be distributed en masse amongst their fangirls.
The irony of this is that I happen to live in an area of Brooklyn where Sprouse Sightings are very much a thing. My friend Lisa texts me legit every time there’s a Sprouting nearby. There is a very real chance that one day I could just run into him at TD Bank. Aaaaand I hope it never happens.
Not just because I’m the actual worst when it comes to running into crushes, but because my image of Cole right now is so pure that I fear what reality could do to it. And also, I'm a Sprousehart shipper, so I’m not gonna tamper with perfection. But the Daily Cole, and Cole in moderation, has absolutely made the weekly grind so much easier. No matter how distressing dating gets, or how the real world tries to beat us down, the Daily Cole is there to lift our spirits, to be the sugar in our coffee.
Sometimes it’s wonderful to love someone from the safety of a screen. To be honest, I couldn’t think of a better way to ruin my life.