Fans are sending YouTuber Brittani Boren Leach and her husband Jeff Leach love after they announced the tragic death of their three-month-old son Crew. On December 25, 2019, the 29-year-old mom of five put down her youngest son for a nap and when she went back to check on him, he wasn’t breathing.

“While at a relative’s house last night, Crew laid down for a nap and when I went to check on him, he was not breathing,” she captioned an Instagram post from December 26 of her holding her son’s hand. “We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. Please pray for my baby. This can’t be real.”

Throughout their hospital stay, Brittani posted a series of images and updated fans on Crew’s health. After asking followers for prayers, she posted another photo of herself in tears while sitting beside her son’s hospital bed. She revealed that Crew was “stable” and that he was hooked up to a ventilator that was “breathing for him.”

“They are working on stabilizing his body and tomorrow he will have an MRI to determine his brain function and that will determine the next step,” she told followers in an emotional caption. “I can’t explain to you what this feels like. This kind of thing only happens to ‘other’ people. Not me.”

On Friday, December 27, Brittani posted another image and announced that Crew had passed away.

“Crew’s tiny earthly body is still with us, although I know he’s already dancing and playing in Heaven,” she wrote alongside an image of her and Jeff holding their son. “We have some hard decisions to make over the next 12 hours, that no parent should ever have to make. We need prayer now, more than before, specifically prayers for peace and clarity on the decisions that have to be made, and for our hearts, the pain is unbearable. I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t.”

In a series of Instagram posts following his death, Brittani expressed to followers the heartache she felt now that her son was gone. She also announced that Crew’s organs would be donated and hopefully help “three to four babies lives.”

“It’s all just too much. All of it. I know God has a plan for this, but I’m really really mad at him right now. I cry behind the bathroom door while Jeff holds me, because in the room over everyone else gets to laugh and go on with their lives, and it makes me so angry,” she admitted to followers.

On Monday, December 30, Brittany shared a final post with followers and revealed that the family had said their final goodbye to Crew.

“Our sweet Crew went to be with Jesus today. I rode on the bed with him to the O.R, with Jeff walking beside me as the surgical team pushed us through the halls. People lined the halls to pay their respects to our little hero and then we said the hardest goodbye of our lives. I’m not very good with words right now, because my heart hurts and I’m angry,” she captioned a drawn photo of Jesus holding Crew. “Right now Crew is dancing and playing in Heaven with Jeff’s brother, great grandparents, a little brother I never met, and some very special little boys. And one day we hope we to meet the 3 or 4 little lives that he has saved. But right now there’s a big hole in my heart and my arms feel empty. Please continue to pray for our strength in coming hours, days, weeks and years.”

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Youth Crisis Hotline at 1-800-448-4663.

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