Logan Paul shocked and horrified viewers when he uploaded the now infamous video to his YouTube channel in December 2017 that showed a dead body in Japan’s “suicide forest.” Immediately, fans and even other celebrities voiced how disturbed and disappointed they were to see Logan publish this video and though he did then make an apology video not too long after, the damage had already been done. Now, in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, the 23-year-old web star opened up about how he went from being one of the internet’s biggest stars to one everyone was talking about for all the wrong reasons.

“We have a show that’s being watched more than some of the biggest shows on TV, with no budget, no producers, no actors, no writers, no review team,” he said about his YouTube channel where he was vlogging every single day. “Something was bound to go wrong, and it did, for me, to the largest degree possible. I’m getting texts from friends, family, colleagues, accomplices [in those first few hours after the video went up.] I’m like, ‘wow, I really f–ked up, to a degree that this may be the only thing people remember me by, and that is my worst nightmare.”

Logan went on to explain that many of his business deals and movie projects immediately went south, something his brother Jake Paul said even happened to him too in the wake of this video scandal.

“Can you imagine — we [were] building the biggest f–king brand in the world. We’re on the verge of, like, product launches. We were about to create the next Axe! And here we are just trying to wrap our heads around what happened,” Logan said. “Valley Girl is being pushed. YouTube’s not releasing the Thinning sequel. I was so used to people liking me. But being hated? I hate it. I hate being hated!”

Logan also went on to admit that right before he and his friends left for Japan, he and his now ex-girlfriend Chloe Bennet got into an argument, which led to her deciding to not go on the trip. She then warned Logan that his outrageous behavior was only going to get him into trouble.

“She’s like, ‘Yo, this behavior is going to bite you in the a–. I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but you’re going to crash and burn,'” he said.

He realizes now that in that moment in the forest, he “should have felt empathy” and you know, not film what he saw and share it with his millions of followers. But even though Logan insists he’s a different person today and even if people tried to “cancel” him and his career, he doesn’t think it ever will happen.

“Good luck trying to cancel me. It’s so easy for anyone to be like, ‘Logan Paul just ended his career, he’s done.’ But the only person who will ever decide whether that’s true is me,” he said. “Like, if I sleep for the rest of my life, maybe. But, like, dog — I love this. This creating? It’s my passion.”

So maybe he really hasn’t changed all that much at the core of it after all…

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