You might want to grab some tissues before listening to Louis Tomlinson‘s new single. The song, “Two Of Us” dropped on Thursday, March 7, and the lyrics are seriously heartbreaking. It turns out, the gorgeous power ballad is all about his mom, Johannah Deakin, who unfortunately died from leukemia in 2016.

“It’s been a minute since I called you / Just to hear the answerphone / Yeah, I know that you won’t get this / But I’ll leave a message so I’m not alone / This morning I woke up still dreaming / With memories playing through my head / You’ll never know how much I miss you / The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead,” the One Direction heartthrob sings. “But you once told me, ‘Don’t give up / You can do it day by day’ / And diamonds, they don’t turn to dust or fade away.”

Ugh, we may or may not be crying.

“So I will keep you, day and night, here until the day I die / I’ll be living one life for the two of us / I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me,” the song continues. “Even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone / Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favorite song / I know you’ll be looking down, swear I’m gonna make you proud / I’ll be living one life for the two of us.”

Louis Tomlinson Mom
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“I promised you I’d do this / So all of this is all for you / Oh, I swear to God you’re living / Through everything I’ll ever do,” Louis belts out in the emotional song.

But as heartbreaking as the lyrics are, Louis doesn’t want fans to feel sad while listening to it.

“I don’t want people to get caught up in the sadness of it,” he told BBC’s Newsbeat. “The song should be hopeful.”

The “Back To You” singer explained to the radio station that writing the song actually helped him deal with his grief.

“It was something I needed to get off my chest. I used to lean on my mum for a lot of things — anytime I needed advice on something she would be the first call I made,” he explained. “I’m not at the stage in my grief where I’m going to open the first verse and burst into tears. There is a lot of fight in life and I just get on with it. I’m quite a positive person but there’s no two ways about it — it’s sad what happened to me.”

And the 27-year-old hopes that releasing this song will help others that are going through something similar.

“I just feel like, musically, I almost needed to get this song off my chest,” he explained to House Of Solo magazine last week. “People say writing is a part of therapy. In a way, I feel like I’d been avoiding writing this song because I knew I only had one chance to get it right. I don’t mean to be too soppy but if ‘Two Of Us’ can help just one other person who’s going through the tough time I went through, that would make me really happy.”

We are seriously so proud of Louis.

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