Singer Billie Eilish opened up about her history with mental health issues. The 18-year-old sat down with Gayle King for the The Gayle King Grammy Special on Thursday, January 23, and revealed that there was a point during her whirlwind rise to fame in 2018 when she had serious thoughts about killing herself.

“I don’t want to be dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I would make it to 17,” the “Bad Guy” singer admitted. “I didn’t ever think I would be happy again, ever.”

When the CBS News host asked Billie if she ever thought about harming herself, the songstress looked back at a particular moment on tour when she struggled with the thought of suicide.

“I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel … And I remember there was a window right there,” she said. “I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.”

The two then went on to discuss a line in Billie’s song “Bury A Friend” that reads, “I wanna end me.” The songstress revealed that the line in the song was about herself. “It also rhymed,” she added.

Ultimately, Billie said that she didn’t take her own life because of her mom, Maggie Baird. The 60-year-old singer also spoke candidly in the interview and said that she learned to cut back on Billie’s tour grueling tour schedule so she could heal.

“She loved doing the shows. The fans and the shows, that’s what kept her going,” Billie’s mom said.

Billie has since started to find happiness with the help of therapy and her family.

“I’m about to make it to 18,” the singer said at the time. As fans know, Billie turned 18 on December 18, 2019.

She also explained that, now, she has made it a priority to help her fans who may be struggling like she did. If Billie ever notices self-inflicted wounds when meeting someone, she immediately reaches out.

“I just grab them by the shoulders and I’m like, ‘Please take care of yourself and be good to yourself and be nice to yourself … don’t take that extra step and hurt yourself further’,” she said.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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