Telling her story. In a long-awaited documentary titled My Mind & Me, which was filmed over six years, Selena Gomez reflected on her life in the public eye. Throughout the AppleTV+ film to be released on Friday, November 4, the former Disney Channel star reflected on her past romance with Justin Bieber, mental health struggles and more.

However, when it came to being so vulnerable on camera, Selena was “unsure” at first.

“Only because I am offering a lot of myself. It had nothing to do with creativity, nothing to do with [director] Alek [Keshishian], nothing to do with anything but myself and allowing myself to be there,” the 30-year-old explained to Vulture ahead of the film’s release. “I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a bit of that unsure quality staying with me. I kind of feel like, ‘What are people going to think? Is this too much? Did I do too much?’ But at the same time, I want people to know that there’s a voice out there to represent people who feel the way that I feel constantly.”

When it was announced in September, My Mind & Me was described by the streaming service as a “uniquely raw and intimate documentary” that shows how an “unexpected turn pulls her into darkness.” However, it’s more than that. For Selena, it was a reflection on her life.

“I can’t believe I was that girl. That breaks my heart. I’m grateful to be on the other side, but when I watched, for example, the first part of the film where I discuss my body — I don’t want to cry now, but I was completely upset with myself,” she told Vulture. “I couldn’t believe the things I was aspiring to be. Which really aren’t possible unless you have a lot of money and you’re willing to spend it to do that to yourself. It really broke my heart. That’s not the feeling I want to give anyone. I hope I don’t. So watching it was a bit shocking and upsetting.”

That being said, she feels “proud” of what she made.

The documentary kicks off in 2016, just before she was forced to cancel her Revival tour. Her best friend, Raquelle Stevens, who is featured throughout the film, explained that Selena had experienced a “psychotic break” which led to her various stints in treatment centers.

“Her answer was, like, ‘I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I wish you could feel what it feels like to be in my head,’” Raquelle shared in My Mind & Me. “I just remember it being very chaotic and she was hearing all of these voices.”

Selena, for her part, recalls this and so much more in the film. Scroll though the gallery to read the biggest revelations from My Mind & Me. 

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